An impossible question

Today, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and I pondered if it is easier to know when someone you love is dying, or if it is easier to have someone you love die unexpectedly.

This year, I've dealt with both. Neither is easier for me.

It's such a range of emotions knowing your loved one is dying soon. Every moment is a bittersweet memory. Thank God you had it, but it's a painful reminder, too. You are powerless, so every possible wish is granted. Every wrong is forgotten. Time is so short, the little stuff doesn't matter. What matters is LOVING.

The whole family was there last night. We made LOTS of memories. We laughed til we cried watching old Christmas videos with Dad wearing his HO hat. The grandkids all small and excited about Santa's visit.

This weekend Dad received his Christmas present from all his kids...a brand new banjo. He's always wanted to learn to play. It's on his BUCKET LIST.

Likewise, it's such a range of emotions to have a loved one die unexpectedly. So many words weren't spoken. So many regrets, not just about missing the BUCKET LIST. Just one more day. Just one more hour. Just one more MINUTE!!!

I'm so sorry, Scott. Just one minute more and I'd have fit in enough for both of us.

The Last of Sheila (Coburn)